Is this the REAL me ?

This time when I visited Kolkata from Dubai, my mind was open. Did not think and plan the future. What planning do you do at this age and time? My entire family was here in Kolkata, all staying in Oberoi and I thought we will figure out everything. As we started meeting our consultants in structuring our business growth globally, the pendulum started swinging. There were a few distinct factors within me:

-What is it that I want to do with myself, at this point in life? The answer to this was perceived differently by different family members.

-What kind of infrastructure/support I might need? Who will be with me?

-Creative instincts wise, what attracts me?

As I went through this Q&A, within the family, many things emerged within me. I found myself at times without explanations to my own self, why was I thinking the way I was?

For example, today after so many years of hard work of building the business and consolidating the family with reasonable resources at our disposal, finally why would I wish to leave my comfort zone and go off to Dubai, all by myself to build my life again? Why? I have all things needed for a peaceful life in India, then why? I could simply relax and be comfortable at my hometown. Though my sons would go to Dubai, but they are going to lead their lives, on their own terms with their families. Sure, they will be available to me for any emergency, but as my wife stays back in India, I would be in my apartment there, all by myself.

I have thought a lot about this, of being ‘ALONE.’ I must confess, I have not found a plausible normal answer. But there is an excitement within me. To travel alone, to discover, to find myself, pushing myself to the edge, leaving my comfort zone etc. Is this the real me? I wonder.
I will soon find out once I travel back, if I do, whenever.