Never ever in our lives before, the need to think about only yourself was greater than today. Thanks to Covid-19. We really can’t help thinking about anyone, as we cannot do or act for them anymore. Everyone is left to themselves today. Your direct small nucleus family is perhaps the only place where you can at least see, feel, think about others. But that is also not advisable. Gone are the days, when friends and families were very close to one another. They did things together, acted together, shared together with love and with no motive. Yes, intention is the key source I had always believed. But here also I got completely surprised, when someone who seemed to know me well, commented on my intention what it grew into, and said, even at the start that my intention was the same………how untrue.
How little people know. Or shall we say they direct their knowledge as per convenience. That is when I realised purity of any relationship does not matter at all, to anyone, anymore. First, we really don’t know thanks to Covid 19, who all we are going to meet in our lives anyways.
So, life has suddenly become finite. No longer the softer clouds float through the hills and terrains and communicate a will of mind and freedom. So, now definitely there is a hill, there are clouds floating. Don’t bother about what is happening to them, it’s just there. Period. Let it be. You think about yourself. Your finite life. Your money, work, properties, health etc and try and manage it as well, year on year. That’s all. Anyone who knows me well, will say, that is not you. We never knew you this way. You were always seamless, endless soul travelling through the hills and terrains, endlessly.
But today, I am going point to point. Next 3 months I will do this, then think of the next 3 months. Also, think about myself only. My direct needs. My bed, my food, my walk, my doctor, my work, my sleep, my study etc. Nothing else. This transformation has happened and it is here to stay. Everyone else in your life are outsiders. Your direct family, once and if they come around, you are good to them, give advices and then move on. They do the same. Very discrete. Very finite. I will strongly recommend, do not live on any other illusion, and say, “for me, it’s not so.” It is.
This life was completely unknown to me, till recently. Has Covid played a part? Sure, it must have. I am not going to bother about why, who, how. I know it has happened. I am dealing with it. Has life become less interesting to you because of the same reasons as mine? Surely. Has life lost meaning for you? That’s too drastic a statement. Don’t know yet, but I know my persona has changed. This was not Me. Maybe it’s for my good. I can see a lot of things tangibly. I can understand human behaviour better. Why people behave suddenly, the way they do? I start readjusting and try to move on.
Maybe the last stage of my life will be governed by this new trajectory. Let’s see.
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